There are many books and written material relating to marriage, choice of spouse and the relationship between man and woman. For some, the large number of recommendations and tips available is confusing and the fact that in our society there is little reference to the Word of God in its current developments does not necessarily make it easier for disciples (note: men and women who follow God's will and the standards of His Word without restriction) to find orientation.

Five Things That Can Help

There are five things that the Word of God emphasizes in relation to men and can help women to focus in their choice and time of preparation for marriage.

This teaching is intended above all to give men the necessary clarity as to what makes them capable of an upcoming relationship, which means marriage with a woman.

The first marriage we find in history can be read in Genesis 2.

Genesis 2:23-25:
23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

First of all, it is important to acknowledge that the first man, the man Adam, was placed in the Garden of Eden, which God had planted. “Eden” is not connected with an idea of an area of trees and plants, but rather includes a framework of divine order. In the original Hebrew text, the word “garden” is translated as “gân” (Strong's H1588), a “garden (fenced)”, which is originally derived from “gânan” and also means “to secure, (generally) protect and defend” (Strong's H1598).
 

The First Step

And when God had put the man into the garden within Eden, he was in the presence of God. So, the first thing God gave the man was His presence – the presence of God, which should be the most important thing in a man's life.

The first thing a man needs is the presence of God and not a woman. And in this presence of God, a man should meet his wife. (note: Surprisingly, there are women who believe that they must first leave the presence of God to find a man in an area of absence of God's presence, whom they must pull out from there to bring them “back” into the presence of God. This approach is difficult and in many cases doomed to failure, which is why it is not recommended.)

 

The Second Step

After the man was placed in the presence of God in the garden, he was instructed to work in it. The man should cultivate and preserve the garden in which he was (see Genesis 2:15).

Genesis 2:15:
15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

This clearly shows that God first assigned work to the man before God would entrust a woman to him. According to this, a man first needs a job before he should enter into marriage. This is based on God's priorities, which clearly emerge from the Word.

Next, the mission that God has assigned to the man will be clearly in the task of cultivating what is entrusted to him (note: also care, develop). So, to cultivate herein means to make the best out of something, to be fruitful and productive, to exploit existing potentials and to develop various matters in a positive way with one's own self-efficacy.

The man (note: first man) was created to create and to be creative in order to produce the result he desired or plans to. For this reason, God would not give the man a “finished” or “perfect” woman, because the man is destined by God to “cultivate” what is given to him (note: in this context a woman).

Basically, many men have the idea of a woman who does not yet exist in this structural form. According to this principle of God, the man would be assigned to marry a kind of “unfinished version” in order to cultivate it through his participation and to see this version transformed into the image of his imagination.

This statement implements that some men, who have been married for many years and are dissatisfied with the development of their wives, carry responsibility for this circumstance. At this point it should be noted that Jesus Christ, the Son of God and last Adam (see 1 Corinthians 15:45) is also a “man” in the sense of the word who has a woman. Her name is “ekklēsịa”. And he urges all husbands to love their wives, just as He loves His wife and gives Himself for Her (see Ephesians 5:25).

 

45 So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit.

 

Ephesians 5:25:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her …

 

The Third Step

The man, following the example and model of Jesus, would wash the woman in the water bath of the Word (see Ephesians 5:26-27) to remove existing blemishes and spots from her and to present her to himself what is connected with her identity.

Ephesians 5:26-27:

… 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

 

In this understanding, wives may lean on their husbands and allow themselves to be “cultivated” by them instead of having the liability of what characterizes them alone. Consequently, here is a practical example to illustrate in more detail what is meant when, for example, men who blame their wives of gaining weight would attract their wives out of bed in the morning before the usual time to go jogging with them. Another example is a woman's dress style, so if her husband doesn't like it (note: or not anymore), he would take her to an adequate selection of shops where she can choose something nice and he would pay for it; or if a woman doesn't have such good English skills, for example, her husband should make sure that she can attend or complete an appropriate course to improve her language skills. …

Men bear responsibility for the development of their women and should not criticize them but promote and support them.

The Fourth Step

Fourth, God instructed the man to guard/preserve the garden (see Genesis 2:15), which means that the man is assigned to protect or to be protector.

Genesis 2:15:
15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

The root word of “caring/keeping” is “shâmar” (Strong's H8104), which means among other things “hedge, secure, guard, protect, watch, preserve, observe, protect, save, wait, awake”.

A man should protect and preserve everything that is assigned and belongs to him.

 

Therefore, in order to be able to do this in the will of God, the man was generally given a proportionate stronger bone structure and a larger muscle mass. This was not assigned to the man to use physical strength (note: in the sense of capacity) for any abuse and/or intimidation of women, but to protect the woman.

 

 

The last thing God gave the man, Adam, was His word. It was God who first spoke to Adam that he could eat from every tree in the garden except the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

 

It is important to realize that God did not talk about this with Eve, the man's wife, but with Adam alone. It was Adam's mission, therefore, to teach his wife and to tell her what God had said.

 

Applied to the relationship between man and woman, this can also mean that there is hardly anything comparable that can cause frustration for women than the words that answer their question “What do you think?” or “What do you have in mind?” (note: in a problem situation or challenge) as “Well, what do you think?” or “What do you think I/we should do?”. Such an action of the man is not what corresponds to the principles of God, which are connected with the responsibility of the man, and therefore will not produce the blessing, which God holds ready for a married couple.

 

A woman wants to be guided – in the divine sense and understanding of God's principles – and support her husband in his project, which means that she is looking for his knowledge, wisdom and instruction. That is one reason why women want to know what men think or have in mind.

 

These principles of God embrace an understanding of authority, so that man is entrusted with much and is therefore in greater responsibility.

 

After God entrusted these things to the first man, he said that it would not be good for him if he were alone. In this, the reader should slow down and pay attention to the Word of God in order to correctly understand the context in the text of Genesis 2. It says that God watched this Adam, to whom He had previously entrusted and instructed much, walking in his life and finally decided that it was not good for this man (note: “such one”, in the sense of there was not another one) that he should live alone.

 

 

In summary, this procedure of God means that a man who

should NOT REMAIN ALONE.

 

On the other hand, it means that if men do not like God's presence (note: do not dwell in it), are unable to do decent work, and are financially unable to take care of the competencies of (note: to be able to promote, support oneself and others), as well as to give protection, cannot show and neither know nor successfully apply the Word of God, it may be better for them to remain alone (see Proverbs 18:22 i.c.w. Proverbs 12:4a).

 

22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

 

4a A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, …

 

All in all, it is good for men to be guided by these principles before and within marriage and not to stop exercising their responsibilities, just as it is good for women to reflect on what belongs to their assigned responsibilities, to let go false responsibility and to generally recognize men in their God-given authority. (note: This message is based on a teaching of Dr. Myles Munroe†)

 

Amen and Amen.

 

In His Wisdom,

 

Daniel & Tina Glimm